A Little Girl's Knight In Shining Song
After some encouragement, I've decided to share this story again. It's not one I share often and it's not easy to do. My story isn't cute and fluffy,but I'll share it anyway. I was a NK fan right off the bat. I was 12 when Hanging Tough came out. My mother was mentally, physically and emotionally abused by her mother so she did the same to me. She taught my older brother to be that way too. One day during the summer that Hanging Tough came out, my mother was angry. I did not know why she was angry, but it didn't matter. I was the second oldest in my family and I always protected my siblings. We went to Plan A that day. Plan A was that I would be a decoy and draw my mother's and brother's attention. We did Plan A often. I was the decoy and my younger siblings would run to the bathroom and block the door. I could get away from my mother and I could get away from my brother. When they teamed up, it was nearly impossible to get away. My mother, with my brother's help, hurt me. I'll spare you the details that I can remember, because nobody needs those nightmares in their head. I will just say that they knocked me out.
When I woke up the next morning everyone was gone to summer camp. I know now that I must have had a terrible concussion. Then I was convinced I was dying. I cleaned up a bit and made it outside to one of my safe hiding spots. That's when I realized I couldn't hear anything. Big trucks went by and nothing. I laid down waiting to die and for some reason put my headphones on. I had hidden them outside so they wouldn't get destroyed. I couldn't hear. I was alone. I thought I would die. I didn't have any reason not to die.
I'll be loving you forever. I heard it. I don't know how long the tape played before I heard anything. I could only hear Jordan. I played it over and over for hours. After a while I could hear the other guys but not as well as I heard Jordan. He gave me hope. I didn't feel so alone. I learned there was a reason to fight to live. Someday, someone would love me forever.
I made it through that day. Jordan became the safe place I didn't have. He became the fairy tale Knight that sang my little girl heart all better. I used to play New Kids on the Block with my sister. We sang and did the dances together. I used to tell her that someday I would take her to a concert. I was a total Blockhead. I made it through the years.
This part of the story is new. This part is the best part to share. This past summer, I went to a New Kids on the Block concert with my sister! The dream of a small, frightened girl came true. I took my sister to a New Kids concert. I did it! We were both caught up in how incredible that night was to the little girls we had been. It was the Philly concert. I made a very silly sign, one side for Jordan and one side for Jon. The signs said JK's bellybutton Appreciation Club and Jon's Beaver Removal Team. The guys saw it. They all saw it. Jordan read my sign and laughed. (Donnie cracked up too) I wasn't a grown woman watching a concert. I was a little girl living a fairy tale. I was a little girl, with a fairy tale Knight, that had just slayed an entire childhood of nightmares with one smile.
***I feel this blog needs a clarification. I am now, a happy and successful woman with a loving husband and wonderful family. My less than ideal childhood does not dictate to me who I am nor does it dictate what my present or future holds. The telling of this story is not a 'sad story', it is a story of hope. My Knight gave me hope. There may be someone out there, right this minute, that needs hope. To that person, I gladly share my Knight with you. Anyone whining about a 'sad story' can take a flying f*** through a rolling doughnut.***